Anu Peshawaria and Seema Singh of Asian Women's Safety Net at the book launch in New Jersey
NEW JERSEY: It was an eye-opener for the 25-plus women who gathered Sunday afternoon to listen to immigration attorney and human rights activist Anu Peshawaria about the serious issue of domestic abuse and spousal violence against South Asian immigrant women in the United States.
It was no comfort to note that two out of every five South Asian women in the United States is subjected to domestic abuse and that 90% of those are immigrant women.
Peshawaria, who owes some of her claim to fame to her high profile older sister former top cop and social activist in India Kiran Bedi, is legal advisor to the Indian Embassy in Washington DC as well as the Indian Consulates in the US, and an acknowledged activist in her own right.
At an event organized by the Asian Women’s Safety Net at the Benihana restaurant in Edison, New Jersey on Jan 22, Peshawaria launched her new book ‘Lives on the Brink: Bridging the Chasm between Two Great Nations, India and United States’, which deals with Indian women who have been victims of bad marriages to Indian men living in the US.
Having dealt with several human rights violation and dowry death cases in India, Peshawaria said she decided to move to the US in 1999. “I came to US thinking I would relax and enjoy life but was in for such a big surprise,” she said. “Indians here in the US were all well to do, wealthy people, but underneath that I saw that women suffered domestic abuse, violence, loneliness… I couldn’t believe it.”
Then one day a woman at a local gurdwara told her about her story: Her husband had begun to neglect her and her child because he had married her own sister. When asked why she allowed that to happen, she said it was the only way to get her sister’s immigration done so she too could come to the US from India. “That day I decided I wanted to practice only immigration law and help such women out,” Peshawaria said.
The book details the traumatic experiences and problems uniquely faced by such women who are subjected to abuse and violence by their husband or in-laws or are abandoned without any recourse or shelter.
In the book Peshawaria shares international laws on marriages and immigration. The book offers preventive measures prospective brides should take and what immigrant women should expect when they come to the United States. Having dealt with countless such problems and helped hundreds of women navigate through the complex American Immigration Laws, the book is an essential read for people who immigrate to US for employment or as newly-weds. It is a must read for parents and family, students, young immigrants, and lawmakers.
“Although there are no national or statewide studies of Indian women and domestic violence in the US, there is reason to believe that this problem is assuming gargantuan proportions,” Peshawaria said.
In a power point presentation, Peshawaria pointed out a recent survey in the Boston area, where 40.8 percent of South Asian women reported that they were physically or sexually abused by a male partner in their lifetime. The same survey concluded that 36.9% surveyed women reported some form of abuse by a partner in the past year. “That is a rate of over 2 out of 5 South Asian women who report domestic violence,” Peshawaria said. “That is a huge number.”
Typically in these cases, the types of abuse include intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, manipulation, economic deprivation, control over everyday decisions, threats and coercion. The effects of such abuse again typically result in fear, guilt, doubts over sanity, aloneness and trauma to children.
The various signs a woman should look for to understand if what she is suffering is domestic abuse include: demands for dowry; not being picked up by spouse at airport; having her activities restricted to the house; being treated like a servant; restrictions on access to money, work or livelihood; revocation of visa, and violent behavior of spouse.
Peshawaria lists out a series of suggestions for prospective brides and their parents who intend to get married to grooms settled abroad as preventive measures. Of these the most important is not to marry into a family that demands dowry, she says. And then she suggests one should if possible visit the US to check him out and verify his visa status. Also, the women should not let themselves be pushed to break any law to speed up their immigration process to go to the US; not to finalize any plans over long distance such as by email or telephone.
“I hate the idea of marriages that are finalized through matrimonial sites like Shaadi.com,” said Peshawaria. “Such sites are good for introductions of prospective brides and grooms, but not for finalizing marriage plans based on information provided on that site.”
Another important preventive measure, Peshawaria suggested was that parents should make the effort of spending a few dollars in getting background checks done on prospective grooms. “People spend thousands of dollars on weddings, but they won’t spend a few dollars to get background checks done on grooms,” she said.
Peshwaria said it was crucial for all NGOs working for South Asian women’s rights in the US to come together so that more concerted pressure can be put on the government to bring about policy changes, and also for joint fundraising that can help get free legal help and counseling for affected women.
Peshawaria urged all attendees at the event to get a copy of the book (the proceeds of which will go to charity) and give her feedback, ideas and suggestions. She said she would compile all suggestions and send a proposal to the Government of India to bring about relevant laws and policies.
The government of India, she said, had enough funds allocated for the purpose but was underutilized for want of ways to spend them properly.
Attendees had the opportunity to discuss and gain insight to the solutions and tools needed to further assist domestic violence victims.
In her introductory remarks, Seema Singh, an attorney and former NJ Ratepayer Advocate, talked about the Asian Women’s Safety Network which aims to create an awareness of the existence of domestic violence and assist in eliminating it. AWSN encourages Asian women regain their self-esteem and establish their own identity.
The organization works through trained, culturally specific and knowledgeable volunteers across NJ, who are ready to help any time of the day or night.
SRIREKHA CHAKRAVARTY
India Post News Service
