Seminar discusses failure of NRI marriages

MILPITAS: The Rakshak Foundation organized a seminar on 'NRI Marriages- Fast and Furious' at Indian Community Center, Milpitas, on March 15.

MILPITAS: The Rakshak Foundation organized a seminar on 'NRI Marriages- Fast and Furious' at Indian Community Center, Milpitas, on March 15. Rakshak is dedicated to preserving social and family values, propagation of marital harmony and for preventing child and elder abuse in the Indian community positioned globally.

The panelists discussed various aspects of NRI marriages, reasons for increasing legal disputes arising from matrimony, possible solutions and answered questions from the gathered Indian community.

Ashok Kumar Sinha, Consul Community Affairs in Indian consulate, San Francisco, said that acknowledging the problem is the first step towards finding solutions. He mentioned that failed marriages are a symptom and not the problem itself. Failed marriages lead to disadvantages of already vulnerable section of society, namely women, due to lack of financial independence of women.

On change of law, namely 498A, he said maybe we need to question some of the values or norms as they are also not doing their job. Like laws, some of the values are also outdated. Sinha said one of the reasons anti-dowry legislation did not work was that it was not coupled with adequate efforts to educate and make women financially independent.

Dr Mukta Sharangpani, President of Maitri and a PhD and MA in Anthropology from Stanford University, addressed issues faced by women living in India getting married to men living abroad. In the case of the US Diaspora, the NRI community is generally believed to be a model minority; educated, economically successful and thus not a drain on the state's welfare system, and a perfect balance of traditional family values and Western values of progress and modernity.

How then to find a language to speak of anxieties around marriage and family making? How to find a voice to express failures within the marriage?

She raised concerns where marital discord is an intimate occurrence, usually taking place in the absence of witnesses and within complex kinship interactions thus making it one of the most challenging and complex areas for study or intervention. Things get further complicated when marriages move out of the home countries legal system and into the jurisdiction of the host country. How then to address some of the grossest rights' violations that occur beyond the within the "four-walls" of the homes unwitnessed?

What are defined solutions to tackle these issues? She felt 498A law is used by women as a last resort to get souse support settlement.

Vandana Jhingan, Midwest Bureau Chief of TV ASIA awarded for her public services, spoke about the concerns of present laws such as Domestic Violence, 498a which are towards gender bias with no provision for equal rights. She expressed need for a proper international family law to address and govern these NRI marriages when they fail. The concerns included where even a man gets harassed and faces domestic violence.

She felt new laws have to brought to punish people who misuse laws such as 498A and DV to punish the innocent. When Indian marriages were recognized abroad and a spouse got all the benefits in foreign counties though her/his husband/wife who is established in foreign countries, why not same be reciprocated in India in case of a divorce taking place in foreign countries?

She suggested Rakshak should work towards educating to plug these loop holes to US government and judges. 

Deepa Pulipati, Licensed MFT with the Board of Behavioral Sciences, shared her experience as a child custody mediator in family court of USA, the laws and kind of help available towards child custody. During the question-answer session, the main concern of the public was how to protect the innocent from misuse of laws such as 498a and DV Act. They said there was a racket being built up in India by misusing 498a and DV to extract money from innocent husbands and families and there is no proper provision for an innocent to fight for their rights.